Monday, March 14, 2016


The need to hear from you is not directly proportional to my stress levels. I do not 'Need' to hear from you....

I like hearing from you....cause i like listening to you...knowing what's happening in your life...and when i cant see you...hearing from you reminds me that you are there...it's a secure feeling!!

I dont know what i feel...and no, im not trying to put a label to it....the moment i name my emotion/ feeling....it becomes just that....so....let it soar...n cruise...n spread its wings.....!!

Relying on anyone to complete me...or my happiness is futile....a waste of energy ...consequently, I seek to find the source.....which im very sure is where it always was....Inside of me....but first i'm unravelling 'me'.....and when it's all gone....i'll see....YOU!!!

When the water inside a dam is let out....the flow is turbulent....eventually it slows down...and noiselessly.....flows on....But then, you just might be able to see the bottom ...what lies beneath....and you just might be surprised!! :)

Hopelessly in love with  being in love!!

:) swee

Monday, December 14, 2015

I do want to write...but there isn't a single thought in my head!! Or maybe they are soooo cramped up in the lil space between my ears...they cant get out!! :)

Strange that these doodles n squiggles we make translate into our thoughts!! Hmmm...

But is it really possible??! Can these marks made with a ball tipped pen on a sheet of compressed tree really be the fruit of my mind? Can 26 letters express what my ageless soul expounds??!!

I would write forever , in the hope that these 'drawings' would give birth ...someday...to the mysteries within....

Largely by consensus, we seek not to receive but to draw on the squirts of joy extended to us from the lowly lifeforms that humiliate and taunt.

There is nothing more freeing ...
...than the freedom that comes with the knowledge of one's being loved exclusively 'coz they are themselves.

Tuesday, December 01, 2015


HEART 'cleaning'!!

Scene1: (Two thousand years ago....)


The little star was feeling very sad.'The Sun is SO big and bright, and even the moon is so big and shiny and beautiful...! Everyone sees the Sun during the day and the moon at night...but...but...hardly anyone notices me!' Such were the thoughts flitting through star's mind.

'I wish I were bigger.....and...shinier...and....brighter...'

'I wish someone would be happy to see me...' Yes, little star looked down on Bethlehem, and wished!



Now, God the Father had decided to save His children (that means 'us'!!)and in His great love, He was going to send His only Son, Jesus, to save the world. Can you imagine how our Father must've felt?? He loves us more than we can ever imagine...but this was His Son...and He knew how Jesus would die for us. But the Father's love for us is unconditional and so,...He was sending Jesus for us....for you and me.



It was time for Jesus to be born...and Abba Father wanted to put up a sign to show the world that His Son was to be born. He looked around....hmmm...the Sun was too big, and busy...the moon was alright, but, it was up all night and tired...and then He saw the LITTLE Star!!



It was perfect!!!! He called the star, “ Oh, lil' star of Bethlehem!! Would you do me a favor?? My Son, Jesus, is to be born soon and I want you to be a guide!”



“Hmm....Father...I'd love to help you, but...I'm tiny and so dull, and...”

“ That's exactly why I need you little star!..You're perfect just as you are!”



The little star was SO pleased!! It was SO excited and happy...it put all its heart into its shine, and...WOW!!...the little star of Bethlehem was shinning bright and clear!!



And this little star marked the place where Jesus was born, led the shepherds to glorify the babe, guided the wise men to pay homage to the Saviour. The 'little' star WAS a STAR!!

Scene2:( Two thousand years ago..)

Jesus was going to be born. But WHERE?!! I mean, where should the Son of the maker of the Universe be born??!No place in the sky or the earth or the seas would be good enough to hold Him!!

I often think that if Father God had announced (...using newspapers or advertisements!!)that Jesus was going to be born and He wanted some room, I'm SURE all of us would have jumped up and down ( and on each other,too!!) to give Him a birthing suite!

But, again, our Father wanted to surprise us. His Son was coming not just for the rich /hoteliers/middle-class/poor.....HE is OUR Father. Jesus was coming for ALL of us....so He was born in a little, unknown, cold and shabby manger!!...with some really blessed cows !!

Scene3:( December 2015)

Its CHRISTMAS time!!! YIPPEE!!!

Yes,...all the shopping, gifts, rich, fruity cakes, candy, trees all jazzed up with lights and hangings, carols and 'xmas ' discounts, 'xmas' parties....PHEW!! Christmas really is a tiring, and trying time!!

I read somewhere that the maximum number of divorces are registered between the last week of November and the first week of January. The 'pressure' of being with family and 'performing' all that is expected in today's society has really increased the pressure and stress in families!



Once again Jesus needs room to be born. And this time, He wants YOUR HEART.

Honestly, a lot of hearts are today worse than a cowshed! ( I know mine needs a good cleaning!)This Christmas (...like all the other times, too)Jesus wants to be born in the love and calm and peace in your heart and mine.



God chose the little star and the manger......and today He chooses you and me.

All He wants is YOU....to be with you...to talk to you....to listen to you, your fears and dreams, your hopes and trials.

This Christmas, He wants your heart....

Will you welcome Him this Christmas? Into your heart and home?

I know I've got some cleaning up to do...but, yes!!...I'm going to do my best!

Be LOVE! :)

love,
swee

Saturday, November 28, 2015


 

Re-create that 'feeling'....with love.

“I didn't like thinking about him 'cause he made me feel little, insignificant....
Sigh...I am doing it again....Thinking about him and letting my blood boil...my joints cringe and releasing a multitude of chemicals into my bloodstream that do not benefit any part of me!!'

Does this sound familiar??!
I used to think ...and believe that it was the people around me that made me feel happy/ sad/loved/worthy/not-good-enough...
But it really isn't true. And yes, this has to come to you, cause no matter how many times you hear this truth, unless you realize it for yourself....you can't see its beauty! And it IS beautiful.

No one is responsible for the way we feel...NO ONE...not any person, not any place, not any situation...nothing is responsible for how we feel.
My feelings are my own creation, and each one of them is my sole responsibility. I am here, living this life, everyday trying to understand the purpose of this gift. And, like me, everyone around me is living their gift!!
If anyone irritates me, or drives me mad….it's not their fault...they are only living their purpose...they are only doing what is designed by Him. If it makes me feel sad/bad/mad...well, it's the result of my thoughts and totally my creation. Tough….but true.
It took a while to get to this...but I'm grateful...for the journey , too,...cause it helps me to understand those who are getting there. It is very humbling to know that I am not the center of everyone's thoughts and they aren't all out to get me!!
Every time I feel less than happy, I have only to re-think the feeling.'cause it's all in my hands alone...continuing to feel sad/inferior/unworthy does nothing beneficial for me...instead, I only have to remind myself that who/what I perceive to be the source of my displeasure is only doing their assigned role ...all perfect in His big picture.

It was a looooong and trying journey...but I'm glad...cause being broken, it's easier for the truth to seep in!!

A feeling...is a feeling. Just that.
It's up to me to create beauty, add love and re-create the feeling!!!

Love,
swee



Monday, November 23, 2015

Sometimes...all it takes to make someone or break someone is one single word!

You may not be aware of it...but there are persons around you who give a lot of importance to what you do and say. With a single word, a glance...you could make them...or break them.

I come across many students daily....it's amazing how a little belief in them enables them to get out of their shells...
Just knowing that someone believes in them gives them the courage and perseverance to try again....and aim higher.

Everyone has potential....vast amounts of untapped talent and strength. We only need to take a little time....and love to remind them of their power......the heights they can reach....to help them remember their dreams.

I believe that GOD WOULD NOT GIVE US A DREAM IF HE WERENT SURE WE COULD MAKE IT REAL. Sometimes we just have to remind those around us....

One word of encouragement from you could change the direction of another person's life forever.

A word, a caress,
A touch, a thought,
Laced in love
can change a life.

Be hope,be strength,
Be rain, be sun,
Wrapped in love
to lift a life.

starting from today there shall be no tomorrows.

With a deep sense of gratitude i stand humbled .For how long will the masochistic tendencies of hitherto forgotten men be the cornerstone of a civilized society which claims to worship the human form in all it deities ?
There is no aftermath...the war continues...the battle in fact.

Long time ago....a single man stood up for the rights of his community...for his people.


the reminder of his bravery is the standing ovation you can still hear from the ambassador's hall.


i have no idea what this is going to be but something tells me it will be the first in a series of long stories.
there is no tomorrow since where is tomorrow...there is only today..and now.


Monday, February 07, 2011

Thursday, January 20, 2011





Knight -In -Shining Armour




I dread Monday mornings. My body attuned to the inertia of the weekend refuses to obey the commands of the grey cell center, but,...


Matt....!”


My mother's voice shook me out of my reverie. I smiled. Yes, my body is now in 'action' mode! I rushed downstairs backpack and all.


I thought you'd decided to finally stop your never ending research, Matt ! Why at the age of 30 you are still studying I don't know....you should've got me a sweet daughter-in-law and then I wouldn't have to be on my feet all day. Why, just the other day Saro aunty asked me whether you were thinking of taking up priesthood! Just imagine!...Why do I have to listen to all this...?!”


I love you too, Ma.” I gave her a quick hug and reached for the door.


My mother is an angel. Even though she often forgets that I'm not her 'lil boy' anymore. I do plan on solving her dotty-in-law prob....but,....I have yet to find her. Sigh.


I reached the bus stop just as the bus pulled in. My heart fell. The bus was packed. That's when i noticed a few of the finer, fragile species making their way towards the bus. My heart soared. A dreary Monday morning bus drive can feel like a walk on the beach if you have the 'right' company. And today it was 'b'right!


I managed to squeeze amidst the assortment of entangled limbs, bags and umbrellas. Phew! If only more people would be kind enough to use deos!! My nasal receptors were still reeling from the cruel onslaught when I noticed Her.


She was trying to find a space in the melee. My heart did a pirouette when she settled into a spot Bang! in front of me. She had long hair, and it was slightly damp. As the bus started, the breeze tickled her mane, the truant tendrils caressing her cheeks. I tightened my hold on the rails for fear my digital extremities would play “breeze”!


I couldn't see her face, at least not all of it. She had classic rosy cheeks, a little chubby though. Her ears (I could see only one, but i gather the other is a twin.)were cute, down to the tiny crystal nestled at the tip.


Tickets please!...Tickets...!” The conductor's irate voice startled me. Another session of jostling ensued as everyone dug into their respective moneybags. Screeeecchh! The bus driver had hit the brakes, and She was thrown into my arms. She looked at me apologetically and regained her stance. I had stopped breathing for fear I would wake up from this ethereal dream.


It was then that I noticed that her eyes were closed. Hmmm...No. She wasn't sleeping,...But...Why was she doing that??! Every time a guy pushed against her, her eyes would scrunch up...like she was in some kind of pain. But She still didn't open them. She was mumbling. I tried to make out what she was saying but in vain. All of a sudden it came to me. She was praying! She was actually praying. It dawned on me that this angel was afraid, in pain. The reason being the hungry eyes that roved and the bodies that shoved. I was gripped by a feeling...a novel feeling. I wanted to protect her...from ..the world.


I readjusted my 6 foot frame so that she was now in the circle of my arms. Safe. Her prayer must be powerful, 'cause a space emerged around her. No, the crowd was still crowding, but, not a single soul touched her! She continued praying. I couldn't take my eyes off her serene countenance.


She opened her eyes. The bus had stopped. The push-pull scenario was repeated as everyone tried to leave at once , as if the door would soon disappear. She heaved a sigh of relief....and slowly got down. Her hair was almost dry now.


I slowly walked to my lab. I sat down .....and closed my eyes. Yes, I heard the peal of wedding bells. I love Mondays.